10 Incredible People Who Took Their Grief and Used It for Good

Grief is a complicated emotion. It often comes without warning. There is no one specific way to handle it and no given time for recovery. In fact, some people never get over their grief at all and fall into a downward spiral of depression, closing themselves off from the world around them.

Although the people on this list suffered unimaginable tragedy and suffering, rather than seeking revenge or becoming angry and bitter, they rose above life’s challenges and instead allowed their grief to inspire them to do good for others, push past their own physical and mental limitations, and honor the loved ones who were unfairly taken from them.

Here are ten incredible people, couples, and families who took their grief and used it for good.

Related: 10 Wonderful Acts of Kindness, Bravery and Goodness That Will Give You Hope

10 Joanne Cacciatore

Joanne Cacciatore was a mother of three and anxiously awaiting the birth of her fourth child, a baby girl she’d named Cheyenne. However, as Cacciatore lay in a hospital bed in Phoenix, Arizona, sadly, the joy of welcoming her daughter into the world quickly vanished. Baby Cheyenne’s heart stopped beating approximately 15 minutes before she was born on July 27, 1994, resulting in a stillbirth.

After Cacciatore closed the lid to Cheyenne’s tiny pink casket, grief consumed her, and the weeks and months that followed were agonizing. Cacciatore sobbed for hours; she was unable to eat, sleep, or get out of bed most days, and she withered away to a staggering 90 pounds (40 kg). As if losing her daughter wasn’t tragic enough, when Cacciatore called her state’s Vital Records Department to request a birth certificate for Cheyenne, she was told, “You didn’t have a baby. You had a fetus, and the fetus died.” Therefore, Cacciatore only received a Fetal Death Certificate.

It was this experience that led Cacciatore to create the MISS Foundation—an international NGO that serves families whose children have died—in 1996. Cacciatore also began working with a focus group of other bereaved parents to convince the state legislature to make a change in issuing birth certificates for stillborn babies and was instrumental in the passing of the MISSing Angels Bill in Arizona in 2001. In September 2001, not only was the first birth certificate for a stillborn baby issued in the United States, but the first recipient was also Cheyenne. However, Cacciatore’s work in helping grief-stricken families didn’t stop there.

Cacciatore later decided to enroll in college for the first time and earned a Ph.D. in traumatic grief in 2007. Then, in 2016, Cacciatore opened an innovative 12-acre (4.8 hectares) sanctuary called the Selah Carefarm outside Sedona, Arizona. This therapeutic community, which focuses on reconnecting with self, others, and nature through gardening, meditation, yoga, group work, time spent with dozens of rescued goats, horses, and dogs, along with nonmedicinal approaches, has helped thousands of people whose lives have been upended by the violent or traumatic death of a loved one.

From there, Cacciatore went on to publish a best-selling, national award-winning book titled Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief in 2017, which revolutionized the way people think and feel about grief. Cacciatore also served on Oprah and Prince Harry’s Mental Health Advisory Board for several years and was later featured in their 2021 Apple TV+ docuseries The Me You Can’t See.

Despite such a tragic loss that could have easily led her down a much different path, Cacciatore has spent more than two decades devoting herself to direct practice with grief, helping traumatically bereaved people on six continents.^[1]

9 Tracy Otto

Tracy Otto met Francpiero Del Medico in 2017 after moving to Florida to attend the University of Tampa, and by 2018, the couple was renting a home together in Riverview, Florida. However, the couple’s bliss did not last, and by 2019, the relationship had taken a dangerous turn- Del Medico had smashed Otto’s phone and thrown her across a room. Del Medico was arrested, but after being pressured by one of his relatives, Otto decided not to press charges. In September 2019, Otto ended the relationship with Del Medico and kicked him out of the home they shared.

On September 26, 2019, Otto met someone new, Rick Riessle, but unfortunately, less than one month into the new relationship, Otto’s jealous ex-boyfriend would turn both of their lives upside down.

On October 24, 2019, as Otto and Riessle were asleep in the Riverview, Florida home, Del Medico broke in, armed with a pellet gun and a knife. The couple was awoken to a flashlight in their faces, Del Medico screaming for them to get out of bed and telling them, “I’m going to kill you both and either kill myself or call the police.” Del Medico then punched Otto, and when Riessle lunged for him, Del Medico put the pellet gun in Riessle’s face and pulled the trigger. Riessle was shot several times and stabbed in the back, puncturing his lung. Del Medico shot Otto five times, including in her eye, stabbed her in the back of the neck, and sexually assaulted her. Del Medico then called 911 and reported what he’d done.

Both Otto and Riessle were taken to Tampa General Hospital, but as a result of the horrific attack, Otto lost her left eye and was left paralyzed from the chest down, with limited use of her arms and hands, meaning she would need 24-hour care. Despite the couple having endured so much in just the short amount of time they’d known each other, Riessle remained at Otto’s side as her caregiver.

While simply attempting to return to everyday life after something so traumatic would be enough of a challenge for most people, Otto, who had been pretty athletic and into fitness, began looking for a new hobby given that she now used a wheelchair, unable to work a traditional job, and had so much new-found time on her hands. So, in March 2021, Otto decided to take up archery. Naturally, Riessle questioned how she could possibly shoot given that she had lost the use of her hands, but Otto was determined to find a way, and she did just that.

During Otto’s first visit to the All People’s Life Center—a county facility in Tampa that specializes in serving people with disabilities—she was introduced to Earl C. Brown, a volunteer and certified coach with USA archery, who was able to make Otto’s dream of archery become a reality. Brown used a velcro strap to keep the bow in Otto’s hand and fashioned a leather tab onto the string of a Genesis bow, which she could put in her mouth, then bite down and let go to make the arrow fly. After her very first shot hit the target, not only was Otto hooked on the sport, but at that moment, she also set a challenging goal for herself- she was going to be an Olympic athlete in 2024.

However, before Otto would reach her goal of the Olympics, she would have to face another obstacle just as, if not more challenging: facing her attacker. On January 11, 2023, Otto and Riessle saw Del Medico for the first time since the attack during his sentencing hearing. Otto displayed an incredible amount of courage, rolling up to the podium and addressing Del Medico. (Link 8) There, she told him she would do what he couldn’t when they broke up—let go. She also told him that she forgave him and she would help as many people as she could. During the hearing, Del Medico plead guilty to two counts of burglary with assault, two counts of attempted first-degree murder, one count of sexual battery, and two counts of aggravated bodily harm. Del Medico was sentenced to 40 years in prison, followed by 10 years of probation, along with the requirement that he register as a sexual predator.

Otto went on to become an advocate for survivors of domestic violence as well as adaptive sports athletes. After three years of training, several bow design changes, a new coach, dozens of competitions, and tens of thousands of arrows shot, Otto made it to the 2024 Paralympic Games in Paris, placing 8th in the Individual W1-Women and 6th in the Team W1-Mixed competitions.^[2]

8 Ben and Theresa Williams

At age 19, Candice Williams was described as someone who “loved people” and spent most of her time reaching out to seniors and single mothers in the community of Mansfield, Ohio. No matter whether it was offering to do their hair, take them leftovers, or give them a ride, Candice was always willing to help those in need. Unfortunately, this young woman who had so much love to give was tragically killed in a car accident in July 2003 while driving to a dentist appointment in Columbus, Ohio.

Naturally, the first holiday season after Candice’s death was difficult for her parents, Ben and Theresa Williams. However, despite the grief of losing their daughter, the couple was inspired by Candice’s giving spirit, so in 2004, Ben and Theresa decided to honor their daughter’s memory by starting the Candice Williams Helping Hand Foundation, which serves Thanksgiving dinner in their community to those in need. However, the Williams’ Thanksgiving feast isn’t the only function of their foundation.

Aside from serving nearly 1,000 people during the Thanksgiving holiday, the couple has also hosted an Easter dinner but does so much more than just provide food to those in need. Throughout the year, the foundation also helps widows, seniors, and single mothers with tasks around the house and also offers assistance with bills and groceries. They have even given away four used minivans to single mothers who never had a vehicle.

Ben and Theresa, however, don’t take all the credit, as their volunteer work is also made possible thanks to donations from the community along with the dedication of their 20 to 30 volunteers, which include their son Donte, three grandkids, other family, friends, and church members.^[3]

7 The Greff Family

Grain bins typically store dry harvested farm crops such as corn, soybeans, oats, and barley until they are transported for various needs—feed, fuel, or food production. Grain bins also feature various ventilating elements that allow the contents to remain dry and pest-free, making them a popular grain storage option for both small farming operations and more extensive grain storage facilities.

Although they are incredibly useful, there are also multiple hazards related to the operation of grain bins, such as grain dust explosions and fires from the accumulation inside the bin, as well as grain bin entrapment and suffocation. Suffocation is by far the leading cause of death, killing nearly two dozen people each year in the United States, given that flowing grain behaves much like quicksand. In just four seconds, a full-grown adult can sink knee-deep from the suction of flowing grain, and in just 20 seconds, they can be completely buried. Unfortunately, a small town in North Dakota experienced such a tragedy.

For 67-year-old Raymond Greff, farming was his passion, but sadly, he also died doing what he loved most. On June 6, 2024, first responders were called to a farm northeast of Mott, North Dakota. Once at the farm, they discovered Greff had been killed after becoming trapped inside a grain bin. However, amid the grief of losing a devoted husband, father, and grandfather, the Greff family decided to do something that would not only keep Raymond’s memory alive but would also make his beloved hometown a little safer.

The Greff family donated money to the Mott Volunteer Fire Department, which was used to purchase 20 grain bin panels and a grain auger. While they hope to never need them, should another accident take place, the rescue panels will allow first responders to essentially build a wall to keep the grain away, providing more room to work around a victim, while the grain auger will move the grain out of the area. Greff’s daughter, Renee Jordahl, said she knows that helping them help someone else would have made her dad happy.^[4]

6 Steve Curto

By 2012, Steve Curto and his fiancé, Camre, of Michigan, had been together for three years and were expecting their first child. Camre had a normal, healthy pregnancy, but early in her third trimester, she began experiencing frequent vomiting and was put on bed rest. However, 33 weeks into her pregnancy, Camre’s throat began to swell, and she had trouble breathing, so she was rushed to a local hospital.

Unfortunately, once Camre arrived in the emergency room, she experienced a grand mal seizure, prompting doctors to quickly perform an emergency C-section. The couple’s son, Gavin, was delivered safely, weighing just over 4 pounds (1.8 kg). However, it wasn’t until after Gavin was born that doctors discovered Camre had undiagnosed preeclampsia—a potentially life-threatening form of hypertension. Camre’s untreated preeclampsia had also progressed into rare eclampsia when the high blood pressure causes seizures. Camre was then put into a medically induced coma.

When Camre was brought out of the coma, however, Steve knew “something wasn’t right.” Despite having all of her speech and motor functions, Camre was unaware of who Steve was and who her parents were and had no idea she had given birth. Unfortunately, in addition to the seizure, Camre also suffered a stroke that affected both sides of her brain and erased not only her long and short-term memory but also her ability to create any new memories.

Camre spent the next 30 days in the hospital, and Gavin spent 36 days in the NICU. While Camre made a great physical recovery, she was unable to remember how to perform even basic tasks such as brushing her teeth or getting dressed. Therefore, with Steve unable to care for both Gavin and Camre at home alone, Camre spent the first few months of her recovery living at her parents’ home and visiting Steve and Gavin at their home, where Steve was essentially raising their son as a single parent.

Then, one day, as the couple was sitting together at Camre’s parents’ home, Camre told Steve, “I don’t know where I’m at. I don’t know who you are. But I know I love you.” That sentiment became the driving force for Steve to put all his effort into helping Camre recover and remember the life they shared.

After slowly spending more time with Steve, Camre eventually moved back in with Steve and their son. Through a combination of occupational therapy and endless repetition, Camre relearned how to do many things—how to cook, change Gavin’s diaper, and get dressed—and no longer needed daily reminders of who Steve and Gavin were. In 2013, Steve proposed to Camre again, and they were married in September 2015.

On their fourth wedding anniversary in 2019, Steve released a self-published book titled But I Know I Love You, which detailed every step of his and Camre’s 10-year relationship—how they met and fell in love, their first date, the birth of their son, and their wedding. Given that Camre’s short-term memory only extends to three or four days, the book not only serves as a reminder to Camre of her life but also proves that real love isn’t just about hearts and flowers but showing up every day and never letting go.^[5]

5 Dave Pearson

Dave Pearson had just purchased a new Firewire surfboard and was looking forward to testing it out. However, as Pearson was surfing at dusk on March 23, 2011, just south of Crowdy Head, 164 miles (265 km) north of Sydney, Australia, he was attacked by what was thought to be a 10-foot (3 meters) long bull shark (Link 30) that clamped down on his left arm.

Pearson’s friend, Aaron “Noddy” Wallis, who witnessed the attack, and a group of friends pulled Pearson to shore, using his surfboard strap as a tourniquet while they waited for an ambulance and helicopter to arrive. Thankfully, Pearson survived the attack, and doctors were able to save his arm.

However, in the months that followed, Pearson began to suffer from severe PTSD. Unfortunately, Pearson also realized that those who had not survived an attack themselves could never truly understand what he was going through. To make matters worse, he discovered negative comments online below a news story related to his attack, which only darkened Pearson’s emotional state. The only solace Pearson found was in talking to other shark attack survivors, but there were no traditional support groups available. So Pearson decided to create his own—the Bite Club, which was officially founded as a registered nonprofit in 2013.

The first rule of Bite Club? Unlike the cinematic Fight Club, members were encouraged to talk not just about their attacks but also about their physical therapy, emotional recovery, and anything else they were struggling with or were excited about. Through word of mouth, the closed Facebook group has now swelled to 500 members worldwide, from Germany to Abu Dhabi to Florida. The group also later opened its doors to those attacked by other apex predators—crocodiles, alligators, lions, hippos, bears, bulls, and wolves. Aside from the support of its members, the group also has a psychologist available, who often works pro bono. However, unlike most clubs, Pearson jokes that “The initiation is a real bi**h.”^[6]

4 Alison Steele

When 19-year-old Cayley Mandadi didn’t show up for a weekly sorority meeting on October 29, 2017, at Trinity University in San Antonio, Texas, her friends feared the worst. In hopes of getting some sort of confirmation that Mandadi was okay, her friends tried calling her cell phone and sending messages on social media. However, when Mandadi’s roommate, Morgan Sampson, attempted to make a FaceTime call to her phone, Mandadi’s boyfriend, 2-year-old Mark Howerton, answered, claiming Mandadi was unable to talk. At that point, Mandadi’s friends reached out to the San Antonio Police Department for help.

Unfortunately, because Mandadi was 19 years old, she did not qualify for an Amber Alert—a nationwide missing child alert system that sends out notifications for endangered persons from infancy to age 17. At that time, there were no other systems in place for law enforcement to broadcast information about missing adults ages 18 to 64 in Texas.

Even Mandadi’s mother, Alison Steele, didn’t know her daughter was missing until she and Mandadi’s stepfather, Lawrence Baitland, were awakened at 4 a.m. on October 30, 2017, to a phone call from authorities in Kyle, Texas, informing them that Mandadi was in critical condition at a rural hospital. Steele and Baitland rushed to the hospital but, sadly, were told there was no hope for recovery. Mandadi was later declared brain dead and taken off life support on October 31, 2017.

The medical examiner ruled that Mandadi died from blunt force face and head trauma. Her death was ruled a homicide. So, what exactly happened, and how did Mandadi end up in the hospital? According to Howerton, he and Mandadi spent the weekend at the Mala Luna music festival in San Antonio, Texas, where they drank alcohol and took MDMA, a drug also known as ecstasy. Sometime between 5 and 6 p.m. on October 29, 2017, they left the festival after seeing Mandadi’s ex-boyfriend, Jett Birchum.

Apparently, Mandadi told Howerton she still had feelings for Birchum, leading to an argument. The argument continued in the car, but eventually, the couple stopped at a gas station parking lot, where they had “rough make-up sex.” Howerton claimed that everything was consensual. From there, he claimed Mandadi passed out after complaining of not feeling well. However, at some point during the drive, Mandadi stopped breathing, so Howerton rushed her to the nearest hospital in Luling, Texas.

On February 28, 2018, Howerton was arrested and charged with sexual assault, murder, and later, kidnapping. Steele, however, vowed that her only daughter’s death wouldn’t be in vain and put her career on hold, dedicating herself to creating a new law in Mandadi’s memory.

In September 2019, the Texas Legislature approved the Coordinated Law Enforcement Adult Response or CLEAR Alert. Now, when an adult ages 18 to 64 is reported missing in Texas, authorities issue a CLEAR alert through the state’s Emergency Broadcast system with the endangered person’s information and last known whereabouts. Steele also formed the nonprofit Cayley’s Calling and travels around Texas, giving presentations to law enforcement agencies about the best practices for implementing the alert.

Howerton was later tried in December 2019, but it ended in a mistrial after a jury couldn’t agree on a verdict. Prosecutors alleged that Howerton forcefully escorted Mandadi from the music festival, sexually assaulted and beat her, causing a fatal brain bleed. However, defense attorneys argued that Mandadi’s death was the result of an overdose and that her fatal injuries were caused by the aggressive lifesaving measures the medical team put her through. After a second trial, Howerton was sentenced to 20 years in prison in June of 2023 for aggravated assault and ordered to pay a $10,000 fine and restitution to Mandadi’s parents.^[7]

3 Micah and Michelle Sawyer

Micah Sawyer, Jr. of Sebastopol, California, was described as an “amazing person.” He was captain of the football team at Analy High School, a star player, an avid weightlifter, popular, and loved by his parents. However, behind the shadow of all his accomplishments, Micah Jr. became addicted to heroin in high school, and by the time he was in college, his addiction had landed him on the streets.

Micah Jr. eventually went to rehab and later went to live with his mother, Denise Hamlow. While there, Micah Jr. managed almost seven months of sobriety, but on the morning of June 21, 2019, Hamlow found 22-year-old Micah Jr. unconscious. Hamlow called Micah Jr.’s father, Micah Sawyer, Sr., and his stepmother, Michelle, to let them know what happened, but before they could reach him, Micah Jr. died. Sadly, Micah Jr. had relapsed and overdosed on fentanyl, a synthetic opioid 50 to 100 times more potent than morphine.

Despite their heartbreak, that day propelled the Sawyers to honor Micah Jr.’s life. In November 2020, Micah Sr. and Michelle founded Micah’s Hugs, a nonprofit named for Micah Jr.’s famous bear hugs. The mission of Micah’s Hugs is to end the stigma of addiction and mental illness and also to educate youth and parents about the dangers of drugs. Aside from addiction recovery, Micah’s Hugs also focuses on reducing harm by training volunteers and community members how to use Narcan nasal spray—a lifesaving emergency treatment that can reverse an opioid overdose—and by handing out fentanyl testing strips in the community, especially to the homeless.

The Sawyers also established the Micah Hamlow-Sawyer Memorial Scholarship fund, which provides addiction scholarships for six weeks of recovery services at Pura Vida, a drug rehabilitation program in Santa Rosa, California.^[8]

2 Mark Raymond Jr.

Mark Raymond Jr., a high-achieving broadcast engineer, was at the peak of his career when a dive off a friend’s boat went horribly wrong and changed his entire life in a split second.

On July 4, 2016, Raymond Jr. was hanging out with some friends on a boat in Louisiana’s Lake Pontchartrain. Unbeknownst to him, the water was quite shallow, and when he dove into the water, he instantly felt his forehead slam into the bottom of the sandy lake. Unable to move, Raymond Jr. was close to death when his friends pulled him out of the water and performed CPR.

When Raymond Jr. awoke from a medically-induced coma two weeks later, he discovered that he had fractured the fifth vertebrae in his neck and could no longer walk or fully use his hands. Now a C-5 quadriplegic requiring a wheelchair, Raymond Jr. began struggling both physically and mentally. He went from being a social butterfly and an outdoorsman to a loner, suffering from depression and suicidal thoughts.

However, after spending three months at a physical rehabilitation center in Sacramento, California, specifically made for people with physical limitations, Raymond Jr.’s perspective began to change. This inspired him to bring a similar program to his hometown of New Orleans, Louisiana. So, in April 2018, Raymond Jr. formed the Split Second Foundation and spent the next three years fundraising and advocating for a community wellness center for people with disabilities.

In February 2021, he opened the Split Second Fitness gym, the first facility in Louisiana dedicated to people living with paralysis, stroke, or amputation. The gym provides holistic services that improve health, function, and the quality of life for people with debilitating injuries. For example, there are seated elliptical bikes that move paralyzed users’ legs, a yoga instructor who helps stroke survivors increase flexibility and range of motion, and mental health experts who facilitate the hard transition to a new way of living, all of which allow clients to grow physically and mentally stronger.^[9]

1 Cherya Cavanaugh

When Thomas “Tommy” Cavanaugh III graduated from Ponte Vedra High School in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida, in 2011, he decided to enlist in the Marines. After seeing Tommy’s graduation later at Parris Island, South Carolina, his twin brother, David, also decided to enlist. Tommy ended up being stationed at the Pentagon, doing diplomatic work and photography, while David became a machine gunner.

By 2017, Tommy had left the Marines and had become an EMT, but David decided to stay and was preparing for a fourth deployment in Iraq. However, in September 2017, David’s mother, Cherya Cavanaugh, received a call telling her that 24-year-old David had taken his own life.

In the midst of planning David’s funeral, Cherya found herself in a house full of grieving friends and relatives. Despite their willingness to help, Cherya was numb with heartache, so in an attempt to clear her head, she went for a drive down Palm Valley Road near Nocatee, Florida.

Thoughts flooded her mind, and she began questioning the best way to honor David’s life. A few minutes later, Cherya drove past a sign for the K9s for Warriors headquarters—a nonprofit that provides highly trained service dogs to military veterans suffering from PTSD, traumatic brain injuries, and/or military sexual trauma. It was at that moment that Cherya decided that, rather than flowers, she would ask for donations to K9s for Warriors in a mission to honor David.

“In the blink of an eye,” Cherya stated they were able to raise $25,000, enough to sponsor one dog, but as she poured herself into her new work with K9s for Warriors, another tragedy rocked the Cavanaugh family. On November 11, 2017, Tommy took his life, leaving behind a note that said “he needed to be with his twin.”

From that day on, 53-year-old Cherya has thrown herself into helping K9s for Warriors. Cherya has since raised tens of thousands of dollars for the group, trained four service dogs along with her daughter Cassidy, and assisted other veterans who knew her sons and are now battling PTSD themselves. She is also a board member.^[10]

fact checked by
Darci Heikkinen